Let's Count Our Blessings!

Hey Y’all, 

Let me first say, I don’t do New Years Resolutions. I don’t believe in waiting for a particular day or time to make corrections. When I see something that needs to be changed, I try to address the need immediately. BUT, I do understand why the end of the year is a great opportunity to look back over what has happened the past 365 days, take inventory, and decide what direction in which to move going forward. 

Almost a month into 2022 and the world is still struggling with pandemic woes as new variants are popping up seemingly overnight. That is why it has been imperative for my mental health to engage in incremental blessing check-ups. With everything going wrong in the world, I have to intentionally focus on what’s going (or has gone) right. 

There are words that have become mainstays in today’s social media world (where everyone appears to be so “woke” and “aware”). Words such as: trigger, gaslight, toxic, narcissist, and manifest have become overused and even abused.

And listen, I’m not speaking from a seat of judgment. I love that humanity has access to so much information. I will NEVER judge anyone for trying to figure life out. BUT, that still doesn’t negate the fact that I could NEVER hear certain words again- and be totally fine. Some might say intentional is another one of those overused terms, but that word is the one of the best ways that I would describe how I’ve been trying to live my life (for the last 3 years). Intentional: done on purpose, deliberate. Actually, I could easily interchange any of these synonyms: purposeful, conscious, calculated; They all express the same sentiment. I am living my life, designing my life: deliberately, purposefully, intentionally. 

With that in mind, I was intentional in reviewing the blessings for 2021. Yet, the question still remains: How do you count your blessings? I think the first key to counting blessings is to define what a blessing means for your life. For me, blessings have absolutely NOTHING to do with material things that I have amassed over the years (or over the past year). Blessings (for me) are those positive aspects and situations in my life that are divinely bestowed. For example, every day that I am able to open my eyes and get out of bed is a blessing (especially in today’s world). I also draw on the fact that I am a L8 Bloomer. You see, for me- things have never happened quickly or “on time” for the average person’s timeline. That realization helped me to appreciate that blessings could be big or small and they are certainly not “one size fits all”. My blessings are specific to me and my timing. But now, that’s just my definition, right?

You define your own blessings. 

Looking back, I found 2021 to be interesting and weird. It was a year of trying to figure out what the “new normal” would be, only to realize that 2021 was just a remix of 2020 (for me at least).  

That “new normal” entailed me going back to work after a year and a half of working virtually…into the school building. Among other things, my updated duties would include performing individual temperature checks on the car lane (to ensure feverish and possibly Covid+ students didn’t enter the building). I also lost a very dear friend in death, totally NOT Covid-related but deeply traumatizing, nonetheless. There were truly valleys in 2021, but there were also peaks.

After taking several online psychology tests, I guess that I believe that I am pretty much a perfect mix of right and left brain (although I do lean slightly more towards being right brained at 54%: images, chaos, creativity, fantasy, intuition, curiosity). The 46% that makes me left brained loves a good list, planner, or spreadsheet. I like actually SEEING things, in print. Writing things down, makes them real for me. In the past, I have always (for the most part) written down interesting, positive, or serendipitous acts that happened in my life (I also notate the not-so-great parts of my world). But this time, I wanted to have something that I could look at longitudinally without having to go back through each page of my planner. I wanted see my blessings arranged in one space.

First, I took one page of my 2022 planner and labeled January-December. Next, I turned on some spa music (I love to hear water flowing and ocean breaks), it relaxes me and puts me in a calm mood. Then, I said a prayer to help me stay focused (because I’m sure I have undiagnosed Adult ADD). Finally, I started thinking deeply about positive events or situations that happened in 2021, month by month. Along with the meditation, I also utilized my 2021 planner to help me fill in any gaps (I use an Erin Condren Hourly Planner). Once my mind started “jogging”, I realized how extremely blessed I had been and seeing it written down just added validity to my thoughts. I had just created my first Blessings Tracker!

Once I was done I was able to review my blessings as a whole. My blessings ranged from good health (that of myself and my family and friends) to strong, nurturing, and healthy female friendships; from falling deeper in love with my forever MCM (Man Crush Monday) to strengthening my relationship with God. From jumping off the ledge (with faith and a detailed plan) and starting this blog to being able to take my first vacation since Covid-19 began; My blessings were numerous, varied and amazing! 

Taking the time to meditate on my blessings makes me even more grateful because the process of writing down specific events allow me to slow down, travel back and reminisce on the memories surrounding said occurrence. In doing so, I realize just how blessed I have been. It was actually a cathartic experience that led to a few tears because, although I had experienced several negative incidents in 2021, (by and large) my life was good and I had truly been blessed.

Transparent note: When I am in the space of counting blessings, I try to be conscious of not allowing myself to focus on the negative (my mind already instinctively tilts towards that normally- even though I do consider myself to be optimistic). This is a skill that must be developed and honestly, it is still a work in progress but during this time of meditation, I try to surround myself with all things positive. Which is why I try to “set the mood” with music, my favorite scent (candles & linen essential oil sprays), whatever I feel will keep me in a constructive place. Most times, it works, but like I said, it is a work in progress.

Alright Y’all, there you have it! My recipe for counting blessings. I’m interested to know how you define blessings? Do you take the time to ponder over the positive aspects of life? Does doing so help you be more balanced? Grateful? Positive? 

My answer is a resounding YES. It is hard to not have a spirit of gratitude and be grateful when it’s written down in front of you. I am not someone who suffers from clinical depression but nobody is 100% happy/content all the time and this exercise serves as great reminder that my mind/body (although fearfully made and awe-inspiring) can misrepresent the truth. Everything isn’t bad all the time. The world is not all negative. Just because I think it, does not make it true. I can honestly say that several things that I prayed incessantly about, came to fruition in 2021. THOSE BLESSINGS are what I choose to focus on!

Now it’s your time! Think about your blessings. Maybe pour a glass of wine. I can’t wait to hear from you!!

~Steph~ Confessions of a L8 Bloomer